Top 25 Most Weird and Useless Items You Can Buy on Amazon
With only a press of a button, you can order anything from office furniture to electronics on the massive online retailer Amazon, and often have it delivered to your home the same day.
Has the ease of access, however, made it too simple to make an impulsive purchase of something strange and completely pointless?
Before we begin this list, though, let us point out that the old Latin proverb from the sixteenth century—”One man’s meat is another man’s poison”—may very well apply here. Ten years ago, late at night, I purchased a completely functional Yugoslavian gas mask. Why? since all I wanted was one.
(All right, I’ll admit—I bought it on a whim.)
It would seem to be a very strange and pointless possession. But in light of the current coronavirus outbreak and the mounting “threat” of a zombie apocalypse, buying the item might prove to be a very wise and useful decision.
This is our list of the Top 25 Weirdest and Pointless Things You Can Purchase on Amazon.
Note: All of these Amazon products were in stock at the time this article was written, and the rankings provided were accurate. Since gag presents have a clear purpose—to be hilarious, supposedly—they have not been included in this list.
1. Products of Today, Strange and Useless of Tomorrow?
The technology of pencils, erasers, calculators, non-rechargeable batteries, and DVDs is rapidly evolving. Like rolls of film and typewriters are now, they will soon be only a warm, distant memory.
The next generation will look back on many of today’s products as strange, pointless relics from a bygone era.
(Don’t you think it makes you feel kind of sad and old?)
2. A Product Mystery!
I have no idea what this stuff does or what it is, so it’s absolutely quite strange. The closest comparison for it would be a cyborg’s finger.
There are no product reviews or descriptions from the manufacturer. It doesn’t help either to refer to it as the “Best Shopper-Smart Nail Set Wearable”. This thing is really strange and worthless!
The top sellers’ list’s rating is unknown.
3. The Reimagined Umbrella… Once more!
Perhaps it’s because the modern umbrella has been around, largely unaltered, since the 17th century, or because millions of them are sold every week all over the world. Someone is always attempting to reinvent it in an attempt to become wealthy.
So now you have the amazing hands-free umbrella strapped on your back, fixed on a plastic plate. Strangely, it says you won’t ever lose it by accidently leaving it somewhere, unlike a regular umbrella.
So, is this something you should wear everywhere—to friends’ houses, to the store, etc.? Does this imply that you have to feel sorry for the person seated behind you and your umbrella on your back when you’re at the theater?
The top sellers’ list’s rating is unknown.
4. Worth More Than Is It Really Worth?
Current British £5 notes with the serial number AK47 are offered on Amazon and are being sold for far more than their face value. The AK47 is an acronym for the well-known automatic weapons developed in Russia that are popular with terrorists, gangsters, enemy soldiers, and Hollywood blockbusters. This is the alleged explanation behind this.
Although 999,999 of these “AK47” notes were printed, the vendors on Amazon would like you to believe that this is an uncommon prefix.
In the Banknote Collecting category on Amazon, it is ranked as the 552nd bestseller.
5. Chew on a better version of yourself!
Why not work out your mouth as well as your body? This tiny silicone ball says it can help with that by strengthening the muscles in your neck, head, and mouth. According to the manufacturers, it works similarly to how you would chew a big piece of gum in that it will tone, firm, and strengthen those areas, giving you a more youthful appearance.
They even assert that it works better than facial fillers or Botox! There are no clinical studies or medical records supporting this product. It actually contains a disclaimer that reads, among other things, that there are “No medical claims in the cure of any illness, the safety of use, and/or damage to gums and/or teeth,” and that it is not their responsibility if you are hurt while using it.
More than 200 reviews have been left in the negative section, with some users complaining that the device broke or damaged their teeth.
In the Facial Treatments & Masks category on Amazon, it is ranked as the 145th bestseller.
6. To Develop Stones While Expecting
Perhaps one should always be wary of products that make medical claims and lack reviews, even if they do state that they are not being marketed as medications or treatments!
This is the case with the four gemstone crystal set, which was created especially to support a lady giving birth. These crystals, according to the merchant, will promote a healthy pregnancy, lessen labor discomfort, and facilitate nursing. Does this sound like a claim that the product is a miracle in medicine?
Strangely, the seller continues to claim that this is the result of a “unique combination” of four extremely particular gemstone crystals, but they also provide a disclaimer that “substitutions may occasionally occur due to crystal availability.”
Positioned as the 14,711th best-seller in the Collectible category on Amazon.com.
7. The Reimagined Umbrella
This device is for you if you want to be dry whether working, playing, or just strolling around in the rain without using your hands. It looks like an odd hybrid of a neck umbrella and cap.
To truly understand how ridiculous it is, you have to see it. Strangely enough, it is only advised for those who are no taller than 5’5″. Customers had extremely different opinions on this chic head-covering marvel.
8. Trust in a vial
Holy Water is claimed to cure the lame and bring about miracles. Nowadays, for your convenience, you may go on Amazon and buy it a liter at a time. It is pre-blessed by a priest and comes with a certificate attesting to its pure and divine origin for your peace of mind.
It’s interesting to note that its popularity is comparable to that of the item before it on our list—temporary self-adhesive pockets.
9. Transient Adhesive Pockets
Have you ever worn an item of clothing with insufficient pockets, or worse, none at all? The answer is here, though: temporary, self-adhesive pockets!
They are limited to one color (light beige), cannot be machine washed, are not reusable, are not inexpensive, are tiny (they can only fit a credit card in them), and do not adhere to certain materials (like wool). Finally, many reviewers complain that it has a terrible habit of sliding off, which is never a nice thing for a pocket to do.
Here’s something to think about: before buying this product, American Amazon shoppers would prefer to buy one of the quarter of a million other items in the Health & Household category.
In the Health & Household category on Amazon, it is ranked as the 223,960th bestseller.
10. For the Psychotic Horticulturist!
Strong gardening gloves for digging and raking that have a claw attachment? Right now, this product is giving me some trouble. Not only can the neighbors assume you are dressed for Halloween, but the claw attachments are made of plastic rather than metal
It adds that using them is enjoyable. They obviously have no idea what true enjoyment is! Furthermore, it is a little unrealistic of them to say that the claw garden glove is the way of the future and will take the place of every potting equipment you own.
Ranked as the 169th best-seller in the gardening glove category on Amazon.com.
11. With an integrated windproof electric lighter, a metal cigarette case
This is an interesting invention—a cigarette case with a built-in lighter. With a single button press, the ten-cigarette case will light one and dispense it to you. It can be fully recharged as well.
On the surface, it appears to be a wise decision. But based on evaluations, the cigarette case is disappointing. The quality is subpar, and the dispenser frequently jams. Perhaps one day they will get this product just right before smokes are completely eliminated.
ranked as the 4,914th best-seller in the Sports & Outdoors category on Amazon.com.
12. Dowsing Rods: Look & You’ll Discover
Metal ore deposits and subterranean water sources have historically been found using wooden dowsing rods. It seems that this is related to improving the user’s psychic abilities. Many are dubious and believe that any findings obtained with these rods are the result of pure chance.
These fancy-looking copper objects are known as Divining Rods. They are essentially two L-shaped copper bars that are touted as helping with Fengshui and helping find water, treasure, energy, food, spirits, and knowledge. This is all a bit of a stretch, let’s face it.
In the Home & Kitchen category on Amazon, it is ranked as the 67,913th best seller.
13. Golliwog Items
A mythical figure from American Victorian fiction, the Golliwog was a rag doll with black fur who got into all kinds of mischief. It is now seen extremely racist to possess such an item. It would be considered blatantly offensive by most individuals.
We therefore don’t exactly advise this purchase, even if the manufacturers claim that this mug would be the perfect gift for moms, dads, spouses, wives, kids, daughters, brothers, sisters, and friends.
Ranked as the 14,790th best-seller in the Mug category on Amazon.com.
14. Unusual Pickled Foods?
Pickled foods such as turkey guts, chicken feet, and pig lips are considered delicacies in many cultures, yet they are also entirely appropriate.
Nonetheless, eating these items would be considered strange by millions of people, which is why we have listed them here. Pickled Pig’s Feet are rated a respectable 243rd in the Packaged & Canned Meats category on the Korean Amazon website, but the identical product is ranked 4,348,507th in the Home & Kitchen category on the UK Amazon website.
15. Magic Therapy Insoles for Shoes
At last, a medical discovery that solves all problems. All you need to do is place it in your shoe and go about your day!
Presenting the Anti-Fatigue Weight Loss Shoe with Acupressure Magnetic Therapy Massage Insoles. These amazing shoe additions help you lose weight, increase vitality, and relax your feet.
Regretfully, 55% of customers rated it with a single star, and one review called this innovative device “useless,” while another exclaimed, “it hurts!”Is it possible that this product, whose ludicrous promises lack scientific backing, is ineffective in real life?
Unknown rating in the list of best sellers.
16. Spell Lotion for Pagan and Voodoo Conjuration
There are many quick fixes available online, and this one will help you locate your genuine love and long-term happiness. If you want to be in a deep, committed relationship with someone, what should you do?
Your true love should find you quickly if you write their name on the side of a pink candle dipped in this enchanted concoction. The product’s primary active ingredient, catnip, is the most concerning aspect of it. At the very least, be ready for a lot of unwanted attention from the cats in your area!
ranked as the 607th best-seller in the aromatherapy category on Amazon.com.
17. Pills for Male Sexual Enhancement
As they age, men typically worry about how they will look during sexual activity. However, goods such as this one promise to revitalize you.
Chiangbai Mountain Ants in powder form are its active component. Additionally, it promises to foster “a sense of positive absurdity” and “a sense of clarity that remains throughout the day.” (Is that a good thing or a terrible thing?)
In Amazon’s Health, Household & Personal Care category, it is ranked a pitiful 23,814th.
18. Klingon Dictionary
The goal of learning a new language is to improve mental health. However, one for a fictional warrior race from the television series Star Trek is undoubtedly a touch strange.
It’s true that the book has received great reviews and is ranked fairly in its category. It must also be acknowledged that the book takes its subject matter very seriously, going into great detail to cover both Klingon vocabulary and basic grammar principles.
However, it does not address the issue that mastering this language is completely pointless. Even after over 28 years, the United Nations has not acknowledged the book. Furthermore, we doubt that Klingon is taught in any school! “qoH vuvbe’ SuS” (The wind does not respect a fool), as the Klingons would say.
ranked as the 219th best-seller in the Television (Books) category on Amazon.com.
19. Anyone feeling upbeat?
Have you ever desired to address the issue of your breasts losing their youthful vigor but refused to undergo costly and uncomfortable cosmetic surgery? Why not give a breast-firming and lifting cream a try?
This product costs only $167 for a two-month supply and claims to enhance breast tissue by up to 8.4%. Given that this product has been available on Amazon for more than three years without any reviews, what woman would not be enticed to purchase it?
The top sellers’ list’s rating is unknown.
20. Stainless steel cufflinks for men and women
This is something that is practical for work and weddings, not just a novelty item. Of course, those who enjoy watching should definitely do so.
The manufacturers kindly advise setting one to the time zone you are visiting and the other to your home nation when traveling for work. It goes without saying that you must keep track of which is which to avoid confusion.
ranked as the 6,506th top seller in the Cuff-links category of Amazon.com.
21. Easily fluff your pet!
To make fluffing up your pet’s fur and making them more, well, furry (or at least fluffy), this fluffer comb has a handle and a changeable plastic blade.
Interestingly, this fluffer comb is meant for cattle, as per the product description, but is apparently more popular as a dog comb. But honestly, if you want to comb your dog, just purchase a dog comb … unless you want that extra “pop and bloom” the product specs promise.
Rated as the 141,093rd bestseller in Sports & Outdoors.
22. Spray for Attraction
If a man wants to attract ladies in the present era, it seems he may forget about wooing, seduction, and romance—especially with a 1.5 cc vial of real (synthetic) pheromones! The theory goes that when women in the vicinity smell the scent, a pheromone causes them to become sexually attracted to each other.
But pheromones are not nearly as simple or easy to fake as the manufacturers make it seem. Pheromones have some scientific basis, although it primarily relates to insect behavior rather than human behavior!
ranked as the 17,358th best-seller in the Beauty category on Amazon.com.
23. Tablets for Miracle Weight Loss
It is not possible to lose weight quickly. The consensus among medical professionals is that maintaining a healthy weight requires a combination of consistent activity and a well-balanced diet. As a matter of fact, some online weight reduction drugs have unpleasant and possibly dangerous adverse effects.
It is advised by medical experts that you should only lose one to two pounds of weight each week. Therefore, any product that makes the claim that it will help you lose a lot more weight is either deceiving you or encouraging unhealthful weight loss.
Rated as the 978th bestseller in Amazon’s Detox & Cleanse Weight Loss subcategory.
24. Whiter than White!
Amazon India sells a whitening cream for men’s underarms and private areas. It proudly says on the jar “Rugged & Handsome Men inside Out”. (What does that actually mean???)
Of course, there’s the grave concern that this product implies that a particular skin tone is preferable to another. And is bleaching your privates a really good idea?
(Call me cynical, but you have to get 90 applications out of a 100-gram jar when the directions state to “Use twice daily for at least 45 days for visible results.”)
The application directions for the cream advise, ironically, to “apply a generous amount of cream.” (I assume this means generous, but not more than a gram each time!) Based only on that information, the product appears to be completely worthless; one jar will never be sufficient to provide “visible” results.
Ranked as the 26,553rd best-seller in the Beauty category on Amazon.com.
25. What is meant by a letter?
There have been 66 billion fewer postal letters written in the US annually since the high in 2006; this decreasing trend is expected to persist for some time.
What, then, is more absurd and pointless than purchasing a letter opener in this day and age? purchasing a pair!
Not exactly the most convenient thing in these days of instant texting and e-mail. ranked as the 1,532nd best-seller in the Office category on Amazon.com.
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